Writing again…

First, I want to say thank you for all the kind comments, messages, and texts from my last post. Kevin and I are praying for peace. I feel like I really have a handle on what happened, but every now and then I find myself tearing up for no reason. My doctor said that we are good to go ahead and keep trying. January was fine. Everything was on schedule, but February was a weird month. I am normally like clock work so I’m hoping March will be better.

I am thinking about writing again. I used to write all the time… I even took creative writing in college. English was my minor. I recently found one of my short stories from college. It’s so hard to be objective about your own stories and even harder to show them to anyone. But if anyone is interested in reading it, let me know and I’ll email it to you. It’s only 12 pages. Although I am thinking about beefing it up to maybe 30 pages or so… How cool would it be to be published???

We leave for Florida on Thursday and I can’t wait. Spring Break can not get here fast enough…. but it needs to move slowly once it’s here. :) pictures to come. our little shark bait is in a big boy bed!!!

God grant me the serenity…

I know I have been an absent blogger. But I have had good reason. Every time I sat down to blog, my mind would fill with what happened… and then I’d realize I am not ready. But I think that if I don’t get it down, I may forget. And it really is a great story…

So I feel enough time has passed that I can tell this story:

******DISCLAIMER: This may be too graphic for some…. if so, just click the X box in the top right corner….*****

Kevin and I have been trying to have a baby since last June. Once football season was over, and we weren’t just ships passing in the night, we started really trying. Reading books and taking temperatures… the whole nine yards. Two of my pregnant friends, fellow coach’s wives, told me about this book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. IT’S Amazing and after just a month of having it in my hands, I was pregnant.

On December 20th, I started having blood clots. I was so scared. I thought that I was having a miscarriage. I thought, well that’s just great. I was pregnant and now I am not anymore and I didn’t even get to know. I called my doctor and they said it didn’t sound like a miscarriage, that it sounded like my egg implanting on my uterine wall… They said to wait till I missed my period and take a pregnancy test.

Well, who could wait? I mean seriously… my period was 2 weeks away!!! So, I waited until December 23rd. I couldn’t wait any longer! I set a cup out the night before so I could wake up and take the test. Well, Kev’s stirring woke me up at 6am so I went to our bathroom, closed the door and took the test. I read and re-read the directions like it was the first time I had ever taken a pregnancy test.

Wait two minutes… I didn’t expect it to say positive as my period was SO far off and I thought it was WAY too early… But it did. A nice Plus sign….

Now I have never seen this before. EVER! I didn’t think these home test even worked because all I’ve ever seen on them is negative. So, my first thought was, “huh, they do work.” Followed by, “I’m pregnant!!!!” I threw open the bathroom door and I excitedly said, “Kev! We are going to have a baby!” He sleepily said, “How do you know?” and I said, “I just took a test!” Holding the test up high. He was half asleep but he jammed his fist in the air in victory. :) We spent the rest of the morning in bed talking, both of us too excited to sleep. And about 8am he says to me, “Not that I am not excited, but couldn’t this have waited until later in the day?” :) It was a blissful perfect moment. The first time I told my husband I was pregnant.

So, I called my doctor scheduled a pregnancy test and went to lunch to meet my best friend. It was WAY too early to tell people and I still really didn’t believe it myself, but I told her at lunch anyway. She screamed and started crying. I love that girl. I tried to be excited, but I just couldn’t let myself. I knew so much could go wrong between now and the end. But I was happy. Jordan and Brad arrived that night and somehow Jordan just knew. She walked in the door and in complete Jordan style walked right up to me, with prenatal vitamins I’d been talking since June, and said, “You are pregnant, aren’t you?” I wanted to wait until Kevin got home so we could tell her and Brad together… but that didn’t work. Kevin did tell Brad and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen.

December 24th:

We went over to Kevin’s mom’s house for Christmas Eve dinner and we decided to tell our parents in a really cute way. Normally I would have waited but it was Christmas. We framed the picture of the pregnancy test in a frame that said “Grandchildren…” and something sweet about them, I don’t remember, and had Kevin’s mom open it as soon as we walked in. She also cried and wanted to tell the world. She was so excited I started to let myself get excited… just a little bit.

December 25th:

Christmas morning, we went to my parents house and gave them the same gift. They were so excited!  I never thought it would happen this easy.

We went to my grandparent’s house and it took all I had not to shout it from the roof tops!! I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY! I am really close with my family and I swear I almost blurted it out atleast 3 times. Kevin was so attentive and I was so blissful. We kept it in because it was so new. I told my cousin Ember, but she knew about the blood clotting so it was only fair. She cried too.

More family gatherings that evening  and it was so difficult to keep my mouth shut. But I did…

December 26th:

took another pregnancy test, still pregnant. Although it is slightly less noticeable, but I took it later in the day.

Dec. 27th:

I go for my pregnancy test at the doctor’s office. They confirm that I am pregnant… the line is very faint so they think I am very early… maybe 4 weeks. My due date is Sept. 11th. :) I am beaming.

December 28th:

I start spotting. Very light. My doctor tells me to just rest. Take it easy. He says 50% of women who have a baby spotted in their first trimester. Ok. I relax, think positive thoughts and the spotting stops.

Dec. 29th

more spotting

Dec. 31st

bleeding and pain.

Jan. 1st

bleeding.

Jan 3rd

take a blood pregnancy test at the doctor’s office….

Jan. 4th

get the phone call that I am not pregnant. Seems my period came as washed it away.

I have learned that it wasn’t meant to be. I have learned that something must have been wrong with the baby or it wouldn’t have been healthy for me… or….

No matter what, come Sept. 11, 2o11…. I will be really sad. And not just in remembrance of 9-11… :) But I can see the good side. I thought it was going to be impossible for me to get pregnant. I thought it was going to take all sorts of tests and shots and doctors. But it didn’t. Kev and I were able to get pregnant. Now we just need to focus on carrying that baby to term. Gosh it is a helpless feeling though. I feeling of not being in control and I hate that.

My heart goes out to the women who have to carry their babies SO much longer than I did just to lose them. I can’t imagine. For me, if it had to happen, at least I got to know. At least for 2 weeks of my life, if it never happens again, I got to be pregnant.

So, that’s my story. I am glad to get it all down. I never want to forget the look of joy on Kevin’s face when I told him. Or how the hugs felt from my family and friends. Even though it was short, it was a great time. I really hope that it happens again… for 9 long and glorious months!!!!

One Year Closer to Death…

That might be weird title for some people but it’s my Dad’s favorite thing to say to me on my birthday. :) I turned 29 last week and I had the most fun!!! It seems like the older I get, the longer my birthday lasts. Kevin likes to call it my “birthday week” and I am totally OK with that!! I love going to school on my birthday. The kids are always so sweet. I was serenaded so loud that they heard it all the way down the hall. 6th period made me a Happy Birthday banner. I took a picture of them with it, but for obvious reason, I can’t post it. But it was super cute. I have the BEST students.

Friday night, my actual birthday, Kev and I went to dinner with my parents. We went to the Keg in the Highlands. SO YUM! They had a birthday card for me at the table.  After dinner we went to Barnes and Nobel and my parents and Kev got me a Nook Color for my birthday!!

I have already read 1 book and 2 magazines on it. I LOVE IT!! Yesterday I figured out how to get books from the Arlington Library on it and am now reading “The Carrie Diaries”. My family and husband are the best! They weren’t sure which e-reader I wanted so they were waiting for me to choose. I looked at the Nook Color one more time and said, Alright… I want it. Kev and I Dad went off to the side and came up with a payment strategy.. very adult. And that was it. :) I’m a happy girl.

On Saturday we had people over to celebrate. I was supposed to bake cupcakes, but both of the 8th grade basketball teams at my school made it to the city championship game (and BOTH TEAMS WON) so Saturday was filled with basketball instead of cupcakes. I decided to stop at the Cheesecake factory on my way home and pick up a cake. We still have half a cake left… but it’s SO YUMMY!!!

Thanks to everyone who came over. It was so fun! And thanks to Ember for giving me the game “Encore”!!! Best Game EVER!!

My flowers from Jennifer:

My gorgeous Bday cake:

Kev lighting all 29 candles & me cutting the cake:

Eric, Lucy, Chris and Jennifer:

Katie, Ben & ENCORE!!!:

ALT, Justin, Rachel and Ember enjoying the cake:

Alain and Adrianne with Dave in the background. It was his birthday last week, so I had everyone sing to him too!!:

me and Katie:

Jenn and Katie:

me, Jenn, Katie & Lucy:

Jessi couldn’t make it to the party so on Monday she took me to dinner before Arctic Blast Panda Watch 2011 hit. We had sushi at Piranha and came back to my house for more birthday cake. We had a great time! Thanks Jessi!!! LOVE YA!

Thank you so much everyone!!! Thanks for the gifts, the cards, the phone calls, texts and facebook messages! Ya’ll made my birthday so special and I appreciate every single one of you!!!!

Texas Rangers

2 weekends ago… back on September 12th, my Grandma was honored at the Ranger Game for having season seats since 1972. They gave her a certificate for being a “Quarter Century Fan” even though it’s closer to 40 years! She was so excited! We both were really excited!

When we got there, they immediately put her into a wheel chair and we were on our way to the field.

 

Gma waiting to go on the field:

me and Gma:

it’s about that time:

here we go:

she’s so cute:

The Yankee’s were warming up:

Mr. Chuck Greenberg:

shaking hands with Greenberg:

Telling him her life story, it’s just what she does:

almost there:

standing on the field:

We were in the Yankee’s way…

Ranger’s warming up on the other side of the field:

more Yankees:

Grandma with the Captain:

 

Ok, say what you want about him, but he is really pretty & has nice form. Derek Jeter. And to quote Gma, “Better Jeter than A-fraud.”:

Everyone else being honored:

Gma and me on the field!!!!!

inside the Yankees dugout:

our seats (well, the one on the left is our seat, the other one is behind the man in kakis, he was in the way).

Gma getting the special treatment she deserves:

It was really hot that day, and Gma walking all the way down to the front row was just not in the cards for us that day, so we sat in the Gold Club to watch the game. We sat at the table they have reserved for the handicapped. Gma says they reserve it just for her. Great view of the game and air conditioned:

Cliff Lee was pitching!!!!!

:)

Threw over 100 pitches and the Rangers beat the Yankees!!!!

Gma and I had a great time! Made memories I will never forget!

Then, yesterday, the Rangers won their division and are now headed to the playoffs. It’s been a long time coming and I hope I get to take Gma to a playoff game. She is so much fun!

Thanks for taking me Grandma! I love you!!!

Boykin’s visit

Jack Hunting Tigers...

Jordan, Brad and Jack are in town this week for the birth of their new nephew! Brad’s sister had a little boy last Thursday! So excited for them and also SO excited that they are staying with us. We always have such a fun time. Kev’s team was off this week, so it was a great time for them to be here.

Jack has grown so much since we last saw him in July. IT’S CRAZY! He amazes me. His imagination. He can spend hours pretending to: hunt tigers (notice the video above), bring you grapes, be a cat, or be a dragon. And when this kid plays pretend… he totally commits.

Jack in his “Jungle Hat”:

 

I first held this hand when he was 4 weeks old. And it melts my heart when he takes my hand to lead me on an “adventure” . :)

Jordan asked him what a dragon sounds like:

My house was also a bakery on Friday night. Kevin’s friend and fellow coach’s daughter’s 6th birthday party was today and their family love my cakes. His wife asked me to provide the cake for the party and I happily agreed. I was going to give it to her as a gift, but she wouldn’t have it. So, I was a paid baker!! :) And I am really grateful because I also had a volleyball tournament today so all the work was worth it knowing I was being paid for my time.

It was a Hawaii themed party and she wanted a cake for the adults and cupcakes for the kids. I was so nervous. Thank God my seasoned baker best friend was here with me. Jordan kept me sane when the cake wraps kept falling off. She also smoothed the icing for me when I was about to throw in the towel.

Also, It would have been SO much easier if I had double ovens… I could have made a double batch of the batter and baked everything at once. But instead I had to make a single batch, bake the cupcakes, then rinse out all the bowls and tools and start all over for the cake. Maybe I can continue this venture and make enough to buy another oven. But I am really proud of the end result. Super moist, very yummy and so cute! (I was told the Grandfather of the birthday girl ate 3 pieces!!!) :)

chocolate devil’s food cake with cream cheese frosting:

(I think this cake looked really cool cut open with the light blue frosting and the dark chocolate cake!) :)

white chocolate molded seashells around the sides:

The cupcakes were sooo much easier!

White chocolate molded seashells. So glad  that Jordan brought her molds with her!

THANK YOU JORDAN FOR ALL YOUR HELP!!!!!