I'm a believer

Before I dive into this story let me start by telling you that we have been trying to get pregnant since June 2010. We tried on our own and were successful in Dec. 2010. It only last a few weeks and then the baby was gone. In April of 2010 we were referred to a fertility specialist named Dr. Le of Advanced Reproductive Care. We met with him and he said it sounded like my progesterone levels are off and therefor I don't ovulate every month. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year. Great!

So we set up a game plan.
I would go to their office on the 2nd or 3rd day of my cycle and do an ultrasound to make sure my lining shed and my ovaries looked good. Then I would take Clomid for 5 days. I would go back for another ultra sound on day 12 to see if the Clomid worked and to see if I had any mature follicles. If I did then they would give me a shot to ovulate. All that just to get my body to do what most women do naturally. Then on day 20 I would go get blood work done to check my progesterone level to see if the shot worked and I ovulated.

So, we tried that in June. Didn't work. We were in Hawaii when it was time for round two so we had to skip that month. Then we tried again in August. Not smart. I was stressed to the max and the meds weren't working. They upped my dosage of Clomid to the most possible but it still didn't work that month. The shot didn't even make me ovluate. What a waste.

We took a break until after football season and gave it another go in Dec 2011. This is when they decided I need more stimulant to mature my follicles. So Clomid every day for 5 days and 4 shots of Menapure every other day. It was really exciting to go in for that 12 day ultrasound and see the mature follicles! The most I ever had was in February 2011 and it was 2 in each ovary. Dr. Le said that this round I should be prepared because their was a chance for multiples.

So they gave me my shot. Different brand that actually did make me ovulate.
I got my blood work done and my progesterone was 25! It's never been that high! Really good sign. So good they told me I didn't have to take my daily progesterone pill!

Kevin and I went to Florida for Spring Break and I just knew I was pregnant. I was supposed to wait until 2 weeks after my shot and I had waited 10 days. Surely that was long enough. And it was!! Little plus sign in Jordan's bathroom. My cousin Ember was also pregnant. She just had her precious little boy in October! I just knew it was meant to be.

We flew home the next day and I took a blood test. HCG was 33. They said that was ok because it was so early, but my progesterone had dropped to a 2. They told me to start taking my progesterone pills again.

A few days a bliss. No pain, cramping or bleeding. And then.. I started my cycle. I was devastated! They kept making me go back for blood tests to make sure the HCG level was dropping. I understand why but it was so painful... To get updates about how the number was going down and not up.

So we took a break. If you haven't experienced infertility you can't understand what it can do to a marriage. I think any less committed couple wouldn't have made it through. "It took it's toll" is a complete understatement. So during our break we decided to work on us. I didn't realize how broken we were until we stopped focusing on a baby and started focusing on one another.

We decided in July we would wait until after football season to go another round with treatments. And then we thought... why not? And we'd give it one try and see what happens. So we went in August... pills, ultrasounds, shots... Stress of the new school year. Nope....

So we were done. We decided to take a good long break. Basketball season is going to be really tough for me with the musical at the same time so I decided we'd wait until March of 2013. And in the meantime look into adoption. We are ready to be parents and don't really care how our baby comes to us.

So we had a plan. Enjoy each other. Get back to what made us, us.

Well.. You what they say, if you want to make god smile... Tell him your plans.

On October 3rd one of my friends at work told me that one of her family members just had a baby and is giving it up for adoption. It's 2 weeks old and needs a home. And I thought, that's it!! That's our baby! Went home and talked to Kevin about it and he said as much as he wanted to be a Dad, 12 hours was too soon. He needed more time. To be honest, I did too. Luckily as Kevin and I talked about it the baby was placed in a good home. But it really made us want to step up the adoption game.

On October 4th, my same friend said she had another cousin who just found out she was pregnant and would be giving the baby up for adoption. And again I thought. Thank you god!! 9 months was all anybody ever got to prepare. Perfect.

Later in the morning I was walking with a different coworker and she said to me, "I just have to ask you, are you with child?" I said, "What? No. Not possible, why?" She said,"Well, you are glowing." I said, "Thank you, but I think it's my make up."

I went back to my classroom, sat on my desk and thought for a minute. Could I be pregnant? I started doing some math and realized I was 5 days late. I am never late. Because of my progesterone problem, my cycle comes early if anything.

In the back of my mind I was hopeful. But the majority of my brain had the earlier mentality... Not possible.

We weren't tying. I wasn't counting days, taking my temperature, taking my progesterone, or shots or pills... It was football season!

Even with all the no way thoughts.. I still bought a pregnancy test. I took it at 4pm in the afternoon. I decided if I was 5 days late, I didn't have to wait until the morning... it should show up. And it was going to be negative anyway!

Sometimes it's great to be wrong.

I was afraid to look but I did anyway and a beautiful Plus sign was there.

After I stopped running around in circles of disbelief I called my doctor. They wanted me to get blood work done the next day and to wait to take my progesterone. Um no... Been there and I am not waiting. They said it was just to get an accurate reading of my progesterone level. I said I am going to take progesterone either way so I'm taking one tonight and y'all can just note that on the results. To be honest I had already taken it. :) my levels came back 1008 HCG and progesterone at an 8. See!!!! Even with the pill it's still low! They like it to be at least 12.

Went back two days later and I was scared that because my number was so high that it wouldn't double like it was supposed to. Worried about nothing. It was 3874 HCG.

Ohmigoodness!! I'm going to have a baby!

And then I started spotting. Are you kidding me!? I called my dr and he said that it could mean two things:

1. This is just how my body handles pregnancy.

2. It could be multiples. We'll be able to tell at the sonogram when we hear the heartbeats! Heartbeats!?!?

But, I'm losing the baby was not an option that they said. So that's good news.

Multiples?! I could see the plus side of that! It was hard enough to get pregnant but now I get to have 2 and be done. I couldn't wrap my head around more than two. I have enough arms for two. But I didn't want to carry multiples. I wanted one strong, healthy baby as I knew my pregnancy was high risk as it was.

I spotted for 2 weeks. And then the day before my first sonogram... The day I became 7 weeks it stopped. And we got to hear our baby's heart beat for the first time! Kevin and I both asked when he pointed to the baby on the screen. The dr said, "there's your baby" and we said, "one baby?" And he said yes. :)

Due date is June 9, 2013!!

One perfect angel growing and growing. So I am so grateful for my co-worker. Had she not said something I don't know what would have happened.

Had a sonogram at 8 1/2 weeks... The Junebug was wiggling away!

It's taken me almost 2 months to believe that this is real. In a little over 6 months, I am going to be a Mom. I'm going to have a child. Not only that, my best friend is having a baby due a week after me. I have a dear friend due the week before me and a close family member due a week after me.
I'm scared to death that I am going to lose this baby. Because that's what my body does. That's all I know! And now I have my nephew Luka who will be just 7 months older than my child and 3 other babies that will be so close in age! How fun to raise over children together!! It's too good to be true. But it is true. And I will hold on to hope for as long as I can!

Here's our little Junebug at 12 weeks! Perfect little angel!